Do I belong to myself? The power to deny yourself.

I always said, my life belongs to Christ, I belong to Christ, God is in control of my life, Etc. Etc.

Since I met Christ, I began to say that, until a day came when I felt without control over my own life, over my will, and I despaired, because I wanted to do what I wanted, not what I felt in my spirit. (deep in my heart) what I should do, (because the Holy Spirit speaks to your spirit and lets you know what is right, it's just that sometimes we don't pay attention to it). I felt frustrated, I felt imprisoned within my own desire and what my spirit told me was the right thing to do, when this happened I had more than 10 years confessing that my life belongs to Christ, and that He is in control of everything, and suddenly I lose the north by a desire of my flesh.

I myself deceived, consoled myself, and wanted to believe that what I felt in my spirit (heart) was wrong, because what my spirit told me I should do was not what I "my flesh" wanted to do. In the word it says that "the heart is deceitful more than all things", so I told myself that I should not take it, however, as it is deceitful, it is where the Holy Spirit puts the feeling of the will of God, why does God do this if the heart is deceitful?

I told myself these things because I wanted to believe that what he was saying was wrong, but in the word, it also says that God puts his word in our hearts and God does not contradict himself.

““But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” says the LORD, “I will put My law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they will be My people.”Jeremiah 31:33 AMP

His word was implanted in my heart, I came to feel frustration, but I never dared to complain or say a word against him, and it amazes me so much in the way he kept me, because despite my rebellion at the time, the Lord He never allowed me to go the wrong way, but He lovingly showed me and filled me with awe of Him.

The word that I had for years professing about my life, that belongs to Christ, that He has control of all things, that I do not belong to myself but that I belong to Him, I felt it in my heart, for the first time. I once felt the weight, because I did not agree with it. It was easy for me to fill my mouth saying this because I had never seen myself denying or not wanting to do what God told me to do, all the promises and prophecies about me and what God was going to do through me seemed great to me, and I wanted all of that, but I did not know that along with the purpose comes the test and comes a price that must be paid, one must be prosecuted, because no soldier is sent to battle without first being prepared for it.

I felt the love of God, and the weight of his authority taking for granted what I myself had more than 10 years (at that time) professing about me. How much love I felt from God towards me, I felt his care over me.

In the end, I saw what God was taking care of me, when I finally obeyed and followed what the spirit was crying out to me, I saw with my eyes why I felt so much restlessness, so much lack of peace, when I wanted to make a decision outside the will of God, in the end, I saw that although I think I am right, God knows all things.

When God says in his word; I will not leave you or forsake you, He does not joke, he speaks very seriously.

""Nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.""  Romans 8:39 AMP

""Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests] and take up his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me]."" Matthew 16:24 AMP

Many when reading this verse weighs down for two reasons.

1. They do not believe that God is going to receive them with everything, many believe that they have to stop drinking, they have to stop smoking, they have to be holy for God to receive them, and this is not the case, God loves us with everything and when the word says "take your cross and follow me" it means it, it is not that if you enter the gospel and you are living in concubinage, until you get married you cannot come to the feet of Christ, it is not that if you are going through a difficult situation with your partner, God is going to look at you from afar, it is true that God is not where the sin is, but if you are called by Christ, it does not matter what situation you are going through, God loves you and he will receive you as and in the situation in which you find yourself.

The order in your life, and the solution to all those circumstances will come little by little, nothing is automatic or by magic, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you yourself will realize the things that you must change and put in order. You will not have the need for anyone to tell you, the spirit itself will give you consciousness of sin and you will know what you should and what you should not do, just like the aforementioned at the beginning, where I wanted to do something, but inside my heart, I knew that it would not be pleasing to God, not even because it was a sin, simply because God puts his spirit in us to convict us and to show us the right way, not because something is not sin means that it is for you.

2. Many people read this passage and do not want to take up their cross, they want God to change them immediately and to change the situation they are in automatically, and perhaps this is the same reason why they make the confession of faith Not because of who God is, but because of what He can do for them, because they know that He has the power to change their current situation. but what they do not know is that God knows the intentions of our heart and searches it.

The other important part of this verse is where it says, "deny yourself", this is difficult, it is even more difficult than taking up your cross, since here we will be assuming God's will, and denying our own desires, here we must deny our own flesh and follow the Spirit, allowing him to guide us. And right here was where I had the most problems, because I didn't want to give my will to God's (at that time), I wanted to do what I understood to be the best for me, and worst of all, I didn't have the patience to wait for what God had for me, that "everything has its time under the sun and everything has its hour", it was not my thing, I wanted what I wanted immediately, if I prayed to God for an answer or for guidance , I wanted him to answer me in a specific time, and if he did not answer me I would do what I thought I should do, and many times what I received was silence, because God was testing my heart.

""For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do. But if you are guided and led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the Law.""  Galatians 5:17-18 

If it is the Holy Spirit who guides us, we will be guided by grace, and not by law, since before grace, say before Christ, the Holy Spirit was not inside of people, was in an ark or appeared in a certain way. or time, but when Christ arrives, and leaves in his ascension the Holy Spirit, everything has changed, we are no longer condemned for our crimes and sins, but we are washed with the blood, and justified by grace.

""Now the practices of the sinful nature are clearly evident: they are sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality (total irresponsibility, lack of self-control), idolatry, sorcery, hostility, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions [that promote heresies], envy, drunkenness, riotous behavior, and other things like these. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."" Galatians 5:19-21 AMP

We are no longer slaves of sin, we are slaves of Christ, if we have the Holy Spirit of God in us, we must listen to him and let ourselves be carried away, and not ignore when he tells us no. Even when what we receive is silence, we must know that God's silence alerts us to not allow ourselves to be carried away by what we want, I learned that when God is silent, I must find comfort in his word, and that God is calling me to be still, and to seek his face.

""But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature together with its passions and appetites. If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit]. ""  Galatians 5:22-25 

As a consequence of doing God's will and letting ourselves be carried away by the spirit, these are the fruits that we will obtain,

I serve a great God, and although I am subject to passions of the flesh, God is greater than my passions. It is not that I no longer have struggles, it is that I have decided to serve the Lord above my own wishes.

""I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. "" Galatians 2:20 AMP

""Who can understand his errors or omissions? Acquit me of hidden (unconscious, unintended) faults . Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous (deliberate, willful) sins; Let them not rule and have control over me. Then I will be blameless (complete), And I shall be acquitted of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable and pleasing in Your sight, O Lord , my [firm, immovable] rock and my Redeemer.""  Psalms 19:12-14 

This verse above describes exactly the situation I was going through, and how comforting to know that a man after God's heart like David was, went through all the conflicts that I went through, and better yet, that he left a word of encouragement to guide me in my superb time, so I encourage you today that your first cry, your first thought, under any circumstance, be first raised to the Lord.

""We love, because He first loved us. "" 1 John 4:19 

Our obedience to God will reflect our love for him. However, before we can truly love God, we must be fully aware that he loved us first.

We do not need to earn his love, since we can do nothing for him to love us more or less, God loves us unconditionally, neither does he change, if we remain in him we will also remain in love, and we grow in the understanding of his love by reading and studying his word, which is where we will know the truth that will make us free, free from sin, from the evil of the enemy and his deceptions, free from our own lust. It is knowing that God's love for us is real, that helps us to be obedient to his word and to live a life that is pleasing to him.

""Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."" Romans 5:5 AMP